You’re A Funny Guy: 10 Hilarious Lines From Goodfellas (2024)

Martin Scorsese's 1990 crime epic Goodfellas is by no means a comedy A gritty, authentic adaptation Wiseguy, the 1985 nonfiction chronicle of the real-world gangster Henry Hill, the movie is a gruff and at times tragic portrayal of New York's criminal underground in the 1950s and 1960s.

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RELATED: Jimmy's 10 Best Quotes In Goodfellas, Ranked

Despite all of the murder and mayhem, Scorsese managed to work in a few key moments of levity which helped Goodfellas to stand apart from stark contemporary crime dramas. Henry, Jimmy, and Paulie would never cut it as comedians, but their steadfast seriousness is perhaps what makes the film's few instances of humor all the more memorable.

We Need To Toughen This Kid Up

"You're A Real Jerk."

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Growing up in an impoverished family in 1950s Brooklyn, New York, Henry Hill struggled in school and likely never felt as if he would get anywhere in life keeping on the up-and-up. He chose to ingratiate himself with a local crime family, a move that earned him a ton of money and respect in the local neighborhood.

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This prestige, he would soon learn, came with a price: When a man turns up at Tuddy's storefront with a gunshot wound, Henry is shocked. He tries to bandage the wound, but Tuddy scolds him for it, calling him a "real jerk." It must have been a jarring introduction to the dangerous side of a life of crime.

A Bunch of Schnooks

"They Were Suckers. They Had No Balls."

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Early on in the film, Henry explains that, from a very young age, he found the mobster lifestyle to be alluring, and after cutting his teeth in the criminal underworld, he felt as if he could never return to normal life.

Now a rich and powerful member of the mafia, Henry tells the audience of the contempt he felt for those who put up with underpaying on-the-level jobs and unappreciative families, saying that they were "suckers, they had no balls." It's a hilariously blunt turn of phrase, and it's one of the character's most memorable voiceover lines.

A Work Of Art

"I Like This One. One Dog Goes One Way, The Other Dog Goes The Other Way, And This Guy's Saying 'What Do You Want From Me?'"

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Loud and short-tempered, Joe Pesci's Tommy DeVito was arguably one of the scariest members of the Lucchese crime syndicate. Murdering several men over petty insults throughout the course of the film, he wasn't one to be played with, and he certainly wasn't ever one to appreciate art.

RELATED: 10 Best Karen Hill Quotes In Goodfellas

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His mother, however, took up painting as a hobby, and, when she shows off her art over an impromptu dinner following the execution of Billy Batts, he makes some hilariously odd observations. Offering up perhaps the strangest compliment ever, he tells his mother that he likes her painting because of the orientation of the two dogs in it.

Intestinal Distress

"The Man Hasn't Been Able To Digest A Decent Meal In Six Weeks!"

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The relationship between Henry and Karen doesn't start on amicable terms, but Karen eventually states that she was won over by Henry's glamorous and thrilling lifestyle. Karen's parents, however, disapprove of Henry, and things only get worse after they're married.

The two live in Karen's parents' house after their marriage, and Karen's mother takes issue with Henry repeatedly staying out all night. Karen argues with her mother, who tries to bring her husband into the argument, stating that, thanks to Karen and Henry's antics, "the man hasn't been able to digest a decent meal in six weeks."

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Funeral Arrangements

"You Were Late For Your Own F---ing Funeral."

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After hauling in over $5 million following the infamous Lufthansa heist in 1978, some of the Lucchese crime family members began to get anxious over both increased federal scrutiny and outside parties eager to stake a claim to the unprecedented monetary yield.

As a result, those who were in some way involved in the heist started turning up dead, the first being Stacks, the driver of the getaway van. Stacks overslept on a morning when he was supposed to meet the crew (who were planning to whack him). Turning up at Stacks' apartment to rouse him, Tommy shoots Stacks in the back of the head, but not before offering the macabre sentiment, "You were late for your own f---ing funeral."

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Mafia Wives

"I'm From Miami. You Ever Been There? It's OK, But It's Like You Died And Woke Up In Jew Heaven."

You’re A Funny Guy: 10 Hilarious Lines From Goodfellas (6)

When Karen first meets the wives of Henry's friends, she's unimpressed. She remarks that they wore too much makeup and dressed shabbily, and she complains to Henry about it in the following scene.

The most abrasive of the wives, however, was the woman who absent-mindedly asked Karen where she was from. She then asks if Karen has ever been to her hometown of Miami, remarking, "It's OK, but it's like you died and woke up in Jew heaven." Obviously, the comment is nothing short of harmful, but the fact that she's unknowingly talking to a Jewish woman makes her out to be almost humorously clueless.

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The Cutthroat Restaurant Industry

"Business Is Bad? F--- You, Pay Me."

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Restaurants are commonly used by crime families for the purposes of money laundering, but, when Paulie is persuaded to invest in a local mobster hangout, he takes a pretty cutthroat approach.

RELATED: Henry Hill's 10 Best Quotes In Goodfellas

Henry explains in a voiceover that, though Paulie could protect the restaurant's real owners from major harm, they also had to pay up regularly regardless of any issues they might have. Throughout the film, Paulie is almost entirely humorless, and, while this isn't all that funny in context, this blunt approach to business makes the world of these mafia men out to be bleakly humorous.

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Henry Has It All Figured Out

"They Don't Have Things Organized. I Know What I'm Doing. I've Got Things Organized With These Guys."

You’re A Funny Guy: 10 Hilarious Lines From Goodfellas (8)

After hearing about a mob wife whose husband had to go to jail, Karen panics and asks Henry what might become of her were they forced into the same situation. Henry scoffs at the idea and states that he has things "organized." There's nothing funny about the line in the moment, but it serves as a retroactively hilarious bit of foreshadowing.

Henry, as it turns out, didn't have everything organized. Though it would take years for his life of crime to catch up with him, Henry eventually agrees to rat out his closest friends to save his own neck.

I'm A Nobody

"Right After I Got Here I Order Some Spaghetti And Marinara Sauce And I Got Egg Noodles And Ketchup."

You’re A Funny Guy: 10 Hilarious Lines From Goodfellas (9)

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Crime was all Henry ever knew, but, when he's forced into witness protection, he has to leave his old lifestyle behind. During the film's final moments, Henry is seen living in a suburb, and he's clearly discontent with his new life.

Not only is the line itself funny, but it underscores the tragic, ironic fate to which Henry succumbed. In the beginning, he was enamored with his glamorous career as a criminal and expressed disdain for the so-called "schnooks" of the world, but, as it turns out, he was faced with a choice to either spend life in prison or to live out the rest of his days as a nobody.

He Knows What He Said

"I'm Funny How? Like I'm A Clown? I Amuse You?"

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Tommy DeVito was notoriously quick to anger, and, when Henry makes an idle comment, Tommy is quick to take offense. He goes on a tirade, asking Henry what exactly he meant when he called him a "funny guy." Henry seems to believe he's in deep trouble for a moment, before he figures out that it's all a prank.

Easily the most quotable scene from the film, it highlights the dual personalities of Tommy. Jovial and cracking wise one moment and belligerent the next, the scene exemplifies just how much of a detriment Tommy would eventually become for the Lucchese family.

NEXT: The 15 Most Iconic Scenes In Goodfellas, Ranked

You’re A Funny Guy: 10 Hilarious Lines From Goodfellas (2024)

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